Recovering. Slowly but surely getting back to normal. Or something like it. Things are flowing again, albeit with a little discomfort, and I'm able to sleep. The doctor told me Monday that I had non-invasive bladder cancer. They removed a tumor they estimate was about 3.5 centimeters across. No big deal. And non-invasive is the way to go, if you must have bladder cancer.
Of course, as soon as I'm feeling really healed and well in another month, I'll have to go back in for another "procedure" to be sure all is well up inside. I don't know how much more my delicate little system can take. But that's another day.
Also recovering nicely on another front: tomorrow (1/12) marks 27 years of sobriety. I don't know where the time's gone. But what I've done in that time...
... moved to Los Angeles, had a long term relationship there. Made a movie, (Marching Out of Time, I think you can look it up on IMDB). Appeared in Hook, briefly, as a pirate. Lost my partner to AIDS. Came back East. Began writing and performing again. A one-man show that played the Walnut Street Theater and two Fringe Festivals (including Dublin, Ireland). Got my Equity card. Acted at the Arden Theater. Made a commercial (below).
Reconnected with Chris after fifteen years (now a couple for going on ten) and we traveled to the Dominican Republic and London. P'town. Had a number of jobs. Started my own business. Wrote, produced and directed "Hermitage" for the 2009 Philly Fringe (http://hermitage.homestead.com) Lost both parents. And a sister. A few minor surgeries. Cancer. And...
...still sober after all these years.
Has it been perfect? No. Have I been perfect? Certainly not.
But somewhere along the way I learned to let go of regret. There's simply no point. Everything that's happened to me has gone to make me who I am. And it all fits together. Of that I'm certain. It's all been for a reason. It always is. The problem, of course, is that we don't know why at the time. We have to wait. And I'm not good at that. I've gotten better, but I still have moments where I find myself standing in the midst of my life, tapping my metaphorical foot, waiting for the damn answer!
The universe takes its time.
So I wait.